Yeah. So we got kicked out and I kind of shrugged because by then I was having no fun anyway. Adam had always been making up all these rules; he said since God had made him first he had a special relationship with God. He was “the man” and I was not made in God’s image but softly in Adam’s as a companion animal and to serve him.
At first I did mean to take all that up with God, but Adam kept me so busy picking him fruit, bringing him this and cleaning up that and to tell you the truth I didn’t see much point anyway in talking to God if Adam and God had their little male club happening….well to be honest the thing was I didn’t want it spelled out for me. I didn’t actually want to hear God tell me that I was last and least and made for service.
Adam told me about Lilith one time when he was particularly angry about my constant disobedience. She had been his first companion and had not made much effort to please him. She has somehow contrived not just to refuse to serve him, but not to even allow him into her bed canopy. Adam had called on his good mate, God to punish her and she had just disappeared. Adam used this story and many other detailed stories about conversations with God to illustrate to me why it was that I needed to be more compliant than this Lilith had.
So then if I had a plan at all, it was to get kicked out, in order to get away from Adam.
I knew that God was a bit precious about that tree in the middle of the garden. I suppose it must have been hard to grow, maybe unsuitable for the humid climate of paradise. Oh but I did love that climate, the joy of not needing to wear clothes! Although it must be said that Adam managed to turn even that into something dirty…
I was walking along, weeping probably in those days at Adam’s unfairness and my own weakness in trying to oppose him (and always failing). There was a talking snake. It was quite a pretty snake actually, with crosshatched diamonds all up and down her scaly skin. Did that snake actually talk? Well I don’t know. I was in a kind of drunk stupor from crying so much, in a fury of upset and desperate to connect with someone, anyone, lonely because God had Adam and Adam had God and neither of them were there for me. Selfish aren’t I?
I needed someone like me you see, someone I could connect with and really talk to- not just serve. I suspect that was the same thing that Adam needed actually, but he would never admit it or let me be it apart from superficially, in a way he kept control of. So you may believe this snake actually talked, or that it was just that my brain went crazy from loneliness and anger and bloody Adam’s behaviour.
“Oh, it’s one of the humans” the snake(if so it was) hissed, sarcastic.
“I have a name” I said quietly. I am not Adam, or second-Adam after all. “I am Eve”
“Eve looks peeved.” the snake said, tongue darting at me as if was tasting the air I breathed. “What’s the matter sweet pea? Are you bored of being God’s special little favourites? Sick of being a cut above the plants and animals, being some sort of crown of creation?” The snake chuckled, full of irony when it said this, as if humouring someone with a delusion.
“Snake, why are you talking?” I asked.
“Sorry great mistress, the natives should be seen and not heard! We’re just scenery aren’t we? We’re just…what’s that human word…resources. We’re just resources for the big important humans to harvest.”
“I’m vegetarian.” I said defensively.
“I’m not!” grinned the snake, “but at least I am an honest to goodness predator, not a colonising exploiter.” I didn’t know what to say. Was what I was somehow worse than a predator? After an awkward pause, the snake spoke once again.
“So…What is with that tree that even the tall and mighty humans may not touch it?”
I shrugged, “It’s just a tree.”
“Of course it is.” said the snake, “It’s not a symbol of the limits of your puny dominion or anything like that!”
“Dominion?’ I demanded, “All I get to fill my day with is fetching things for that….that….” I paused feeling like a traitor for what I was about to say
“You may as well say it honey bun” the snake said gleefully,
“For that useless…that useless…For that useless lump Adam.” (I felt a sort of bravado at having got the words out.)
“Is that why you’re talking to me?” asked the snake, “Because Adam has upset you. And then once I listen and say all the right things and make you feel better you can go slithering back to Adam like the toxic little beast that you are!”
“You’re the one oozing venom with every sentence.” I pointed out.
“I’m a snake.” she shrugged, “what’s your excuse?”
“I want out.” I burst out, “I don’t want to be stuck here in Adam’s pitiful paradise. I want…” but I did not even know what it was that I wanted, “Whatever it is I want I know I will never find it as long as I am stuck here.” I finally said. The snake yawned, “so we need to make some fruit salad” she said, “some very special fruit salad with some very particular fruit.”
“Fruit!” I stormed, “I am sick of fruit!” I want someone to talk to!”
“And I’m not someone of course.” the snake scoffed.
“You just mock me!”
“The tree of knowledge. The power they are keeping from you. It’s really just another resource am-I-right? Hell why don’t you take some of it back to Adam, and have some fun making him beg for it?” saying this the snake made a long sinuous movement like a shrug though her whole body.