I am quite possibly delusional. I feel a need to interact with a faith that does not fit me comfortably. I have always done this- as a little girl I sat in the pew at church thinking over the sermon and writing in my head what I would say if she ever got the chance to preach.
I studied theology. I worked through all sorts of issues that I didn’t even know I had and developed an aversion to church (I who had been addicted to church). I tried very hard to become an atheist but I am just not able to be that.
In between my criticisms, I hope it is clear that there have often also been church people (usually but not always women) who were supportive, encouraging and healing of this feral. Sometimes there have been well meaning types who have not understood. Some have understood up to a point and some have even been role models (but God forgives them for that so you should too). I am not ever against the people of God, or God. I am against the festering sort of privileged thinking that corrupts God’s message into a way of dumbing down, anesthetizing, exploiting or diluting God’s radical call to justice.
I am a sinner, my thinking and living is deeply flawed. I am beautifully made in God’s image and loved by God.
My words should be taken cautiously and critically. Anyone who speaks of these things deserves that caution and criticism. Thanks for reading!